One in twenty people is a narcissist, psychopath or something in between. You know one, I know one. They are in our lives but we may not know it. They control our hierarchical power structures and reap the rewards from the destruction of the planet. Some even prefer darkness over light.
I believe the key to dealing with these people is divine love and acceptance. By understanding and accepting them, we empower ourselves to deal with them.
Charismatic, charming and highly intelligent, these people are not 'wounded in childhood'. They are wired differently. Cut off from Source and addicted to power, they are predators who feed off the emotions and vulnerabilities of others.
I was shocked to realize these people don't feel empathy, love or any real emotion. For them, emotion is simply a means to an end. They know how to trigger you and will use this for their own benefit.
Perhaps the toughest thing to deal with is the cognitive dissonance or mental disturbance they can cause.
Ultimate control over another comes through the psychological manipulation of consciousness through which reality is defined, so those within it do not realize they are being controlled.
The greatest challenge therefore is to awaken from this control and have the courage to step away from it. Psychological manipulation means you no longer trust your own mind. You don't know what is real or who to trust, which is deeply terrifying.
If any of this resonates, you are not alone. I hope you can free yourself, heal and rise even stronger from the ordeal. If needed, I hope you find professional support to help re-frame and release any damage done.
Spiritually, I see them as catalysts for change.
They are an opportunity to go beyond our previous limits and shine even brighter. Darkness is the absence of light, therefore being the light and sending divine love either transforms the dark or forces it to leave.
Light and dark are aspects of the whole. The light cannot know itself without the duality of the dark. We are bounded by our fears, and stepping into the 'darkness' of our fears transforms them. By agitating us, and forcing us beyond our limits, narcissists show us who we really are.
Here’s some things I've learned about dealing with narcissists. The most important thing is to see through their disguise.
Trust your intuition and don’t listen when your mind tries to justify their behavior to make it ok.
Have strong boundaries. Shut them down early if they transgress your boundaries.
Trust your red flags. If something feels off, it probably is. Disengage and reflect.
Do not challenge them. They will happily engage and tie you in a web of half-truths and lies. Disengage and cut off their energy supply.
If you can, get out! Quit your job or end the relationship.
Do your research. Learn what you are dealing with. Check out Dr Christian Northrup, Sandra Brown or David Gillespie for practical information.
Heal any patterns in yourself that attracted them in the first place. See Dr Christian Northrup’s petition to divine love for an easy way to do this.
Cut all cords and send divine love. Divine love is not personal love and is toxic to toxic people.
Ultimately it is your love and compassion that gives you the power to rise above them. Acceptance does not condone their actions or prevent accountability. Instead, it liberates us all because divine love is the most powerful force in the cosmos.
Resources
David Gillespe (2017) Taming Toxic People. The science of identifying and dealing with psychopaths at work and at home.
Dr Christian Northrup (2018) Dodging Energy Vampires.
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